BEN!

Ugh Embarassed. You totally burned me on my spelling. Your just like my publicist. This is a pic of me hiding behind a skateboard because I feel like a dummy.  Anyboo Totes Pizza Rolls! I’m so jealous of you because your so plump you can eat as many TPR as you want. I can only have them once a month blech! I can’t believe you didn’t have them that’s like ironic to the max. YOu ate them frozen, you are sooo crzy. just put them in that stove you said you made they are so good hot.

We should tootlez hang out. Is that joke your working on about fruit and computers? I didn’t think you had macs back then. I’d love to name some inventions with you, sounds super fun.

Z out Bitch. ; o

Zac,

Good morrow.  We are “best friendz” indeed, though your spelling leaves a lot to be desired. Perhaps you can come over for a snifter of brandy some afternoon, and I can teach you spelling and we can come up with new clever word plays. “An apple a day, means an apple today.” That’s one I’m still workshopping.

The painting I have enclosed in this correspondence has me sporting my invention, “the bifocals.” It has twice as many focals as ever before. Now if only I could invent twice as many meals in the day — I’m a man with a titan’s appetite. Those “Totino’s Pizza Rolls” you sent were delicious, though I had to eat them frozen, since I have no idea what a microwave is.

‘Til Time Has Past Some More,

Benjamin

P.S. Please send more pizza rolls.

BEN!!!!

So good 2 hear from you. Sorry I have been soooo bizzy lately. Press junx for the 17 again dvd release. OMG DVDZ whats that, right? It’s like a painting you put in your tv. OMG TV how do you live? It’s like a painting you watch. Like this picture I attached. Any way you look so great. Luv that vest. Great buttons. I wish I had a lil’ bit of meat on my bonez.

That’s so funny, we just call it Amsterdam now. That’s crazy that it was new in the 1700s. That was like so many yearz ago.

-Zac

(PSS - your initials are BF like Best Friendz jus’ sayinz)

Hello Zac,

I did not write the Magna Carta, my good man.  It was the Declaration of Independence that has my ol’ ‘John Hancock’ on it — I have just decided to call it a ‘John Hancock’ because I noticed Mr. Hancock has a rather large signature. This is a painting of myself after the signing. I do say, I look a little dumpy. A bit of food puts me in the mood.

Let me know how New Amsterdam is treating you.

The 1700s are delightful,

Benjamin

Ben,

You are sooo funny. Turkey is a meat not a bird silly, good rhyming though ;)

Anyboo, I just heard that the Magna Carta is in New York right now (me 2 woooo). Didn’t you like write that or whatevs? =O I hope it has more jokes in it. I’ll def check it out.

I love baths,

-Zac

I just received a letter from a man named Zac.  The body of the text was near gibberish, but I decided to pick up my handy quill pen, and return post.

A thought for the day: a Turkey should be America’s bird. An eagle, dare I say, is a warm blooded nerd.

Time for a bath.

Good Day.

Benjamin Franklin

So let me even try to wrap my brainz around ‘dis. Z-Efz is now chattin;) with B-Frankz F’realziez. Internet FTW!

-Zac